Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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