Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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