I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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