I just cut my nipple shaving
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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