Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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