He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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