My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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