Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
