belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize