sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
