so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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