She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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