So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
