So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
