The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
