he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
