So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
