Porn is love you can see.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
