I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
