Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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