I CAN MOONWALK!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
