Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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