who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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