you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
