dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
