there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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