Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
