I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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