In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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