If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Randomize
