I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
