I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
