i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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