booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize