they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
