Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
