Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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