i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
