are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
