I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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