Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
