PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
