dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
