So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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