oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
