You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
soo... how was my night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
