butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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