why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
