Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
