What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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