I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
