I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
