Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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