Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
