If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
