He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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