no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
