i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Vodka?
Forever.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize