So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
