yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
