oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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