but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize